Are you look looking for a thrilling new adventure?  For a deep and life-changing connection that could improve your emotional state, and bring new happiness and health to your home?  Perhaps it is time to take a leap of faith, and find the companionship you’ve been looking for. No we’re not talking about meeting someone new on Tinder,, or Eharmony. We mean it’s time to get a new pet; a pet plant.

Get ready, tree-huggers! No longer will you be plagued by pesky reminders like “feed the dog” or “clean out the little box” or “buy more kibbles.” You won’t have to spend hours on your knees scrubbing anti-flea shampoo onto your shivering cat, or taking your dog out for a pee-pee trip in the wee hours of the morning. Now, for the first time you can share a deep and meaningful connection and blissful domesticity with a leafy green. Here is the how-to:

Here Is How…

Research what kind of plant would match you.  Decided if you are looking for a healing plant (like aloe vera), a relaxing plant (like lavender), a culinary plant (like basil, mint, or rosemary) or an empowering plant (like bamboo).  What kind of décor is in your home, and how would your plant mesh well with your lifestyle?

Adopt a plant.  Bear in mind, some of the other plants might try to get all your attention, or show off how cute they are with all their bright leaves and colors… just remember that owning a plant is about personal connection. Which plant will be the best pet for you? (The good news is, the adoption fees for plants tend to be pretty low, and there is no need to have reproductive-altering surgeries (like neutering or spaying) or visits to the plant doctor!  The moment you purchase your new plant, you are ready to go home as is!)

Name your pet plant.  People name all kinds of non-living objects (cars, houses, restaurants, airlines), why wouldn’t you name your pet plant?  After all “Rose” or “Sage” just seems too generic. Would you rather meet a lemon tree named Persephone, or a lavender plant named Bullwinkle?  Give your plant a unique, defining sense of self.

Help your new pet find his place in the home. Whether he will be hanging above the patio, perched by the kitchen sink, or adorning a previously dark corner of your living room, make sure your pet is comfortably situated. (Some pet plants come with their own pots and mulch, while others will need a bed made for them. If this is the case of your plant you will want to plan the perfect bedding scenario, whether that means digging on in the garden, or buying a pot for him to rest in.

Be prepared for adjustments. Sharing a space with another person or pet can take some adjusting to. After all, you might forget that your leafy friend is standing by the couch, or carelessly hit your head on his as you step outdoors.  Don’t make your plant-pet feel unwanted, so be sure to respect his space.

Care for your plant. Make sure your plant spends a sufficient amount of time in the sun.  You can either position the pot in direct sunlight, or even take him on long daily walks. He will need to be watered regularly in order to receive all the nutrients and avoid health problems that are common for plants such as dehydration, withering and or another term commonly referred to as “death.”

Talk to your plant. As with any new relationship, communication is key. By speaking to plant, the CO2 you exhale in speech is nourishing for the plant, and will not only help him grow and bloom, but will be an important aspect of your connection. You will feel free to express your thoughts and feelings, and your plant will thrive from the attention.